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BringJoy
This podcast is all about bringing joy through storytelling and conversation, with two shows. The Joy of Baseball Show is all about baseball from the sandlots to the big leagues and everything in between, my guest and I will share our joy for the game with you. The Conchs Show is all about celebrating the incredible people of Key West and their stories from every corner of our Conch Community.
So whether you’re a fan of baseball or good storytelling you’ll be entertained and each episode will bring a little joy to your day
BringJoy
Conch Pride with Atavia Dor
In this conversation, Joy Nulisch speaks with Atavia about the inception and mission of Helping Hands of the Florida Keys, a nonprofit organization created to support working-class families in need during the COVID-19 pandemic. They discuss the importance of community trust, the challenges of running a nonprofit, and the significance of family legacy in community service. Atavia shares personal stories about the impact of the organization, especially during the holiday season, and emphasizes the need for confidentiality and support for teenagers. The conversation highlights the spirit of giving in Key West and the importance of oratory skills and family traditions in fostering community involvement.
Good morning, Buenos Dia, Dobiano, and Buoncho. I'm Richador and I open. I open because I'm quick with the beginning. I'm not gonna go through a late new club I'm in or what I've done during my years at QSI. I'm not going to tell you about my experience with the week. Instead, I'll take the time to talk about Quix. More important, I'll have to tell you how QSI can help you know yourself. Cont Cry. I know, I know, it's been weakening to your head and drilled into your ears, but stay with me. I know it seems like a tagline on a TikTok, but it's real. And more importantly, it's for you. QSI owes you can't cry. And you deserve it. And all of you should be taking full advantage of it. Everyone of you. The freshmen, the sophomores, the juniors, and everyone in between. This pride is for you. The kids that have the best parties and the kids that don't get the invite. This pride is for you. The kids that would want to be forever friends, and the kids that would just depart. This pride is for you. The kids that show every day, whether they want to or not, that fight outside home and in their personal lives, that even their best friends don't know. This pride is for you. Those that smile bravely and cry inwardly, this pride is for you. Those that dance to the feet of their own drum, this pride that I feel today for you is for you. Look at me. I'm literally not what our standard homecoming court attendant is supposed to look like. I know that if you take it, this pride, this cult pride is for you to do. I'm not perfect, but in the words of our queen and exulted ruler, Beyonce Gisongos Carter, I am flawed. And each and every one of you are too. It's not weird or wrong that I'm here today. It's solely because you all have supposed to be. And stuff like that. You still eat your door. And that means a lot. Believe me, but how often does someone get the opportunity to adjust the entire skin of body to remind you that you matter? Your force matters. And this pride is freedom. I'm simply here to encourage you to take a piece of it for yourselves. You deserve this experience for high school. Well, everyone's experience doesn't have to be the same. Just to make sure you don't agree with that number for. Don't be afraid to disengage the familiar. Step away from what you know or what society says someone like you should like. Don't waste the sport quick years we have you're wondering, what is? And not take the chances to step out of the boxes that we tend to put ourselves in. Already, many of our classmates are not here with us for many different reasons. Don't leave out closed doors with regrets. Listen, whoever you choose to be your home complete is absolutely the right choice. You cannot go wrong. I want you to leave this podcast on you knowing one thing. You are all deserving of conch pride and sharing the full high school experience.
SPEAKER_00:Thanks for tuning in to the conks, a Bring Joy podcast. I'm your host, Joy Newlish. I'm a first generation conk raised by a fourth. What does that add up to? A whole lot of conch pride. And that's what this show is all about. Celebrating the incredible people of Key West and their stories from every corner of our conk community. So sit back and relax, cuz. Let's do this thing. This episode is sponsored by Ramonis, promoting conk pride since 1971. How are we doing, conk fans? I got a good one for you today. We're talking with Otavia Dore, a true conk with deep roots on the island, who's doing big things in the community. Welcome to the show, Otavia.
SPEAKER_03:Thank you. Thank you for having me, Joy. This is this feels like a long time coming. I'm ready.
SPEAKER_00:You know what? What Mel Fisher says, today's the day?
SPEAKER_03:Today is the day.
SPEAKER_00:We've had we've had some conflicts trying to schedule this for the last month, really. But but here we are, finally hit record, and definitely feel like we should celebrate not only that we're meeting together today, but also to celebrate helping hands across the Florida Keys, the new nonprofit that you started. And let's start right there. Tell me about the the program and what's the mission.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely. So uh helping hands of the Florida Key of the Florida Keys came about um during COVID. And my dear friend Roma reached out to me and she was like, hey, I know a lot of families because at the time she was working with a local physician who was very uh immersed in the COVID pandemic. She said to me, you know, there's a lot of families going through it right now, Tavy. What can we do? You know, she knew my family connections and stuff. We should do a toy drive. And that's where it started. And that was 2020, I believe, 2019, 2020, 2020. And so we set up a table at uh the park downtown, and we were collecting toys. Well, the toy collection turned into be more so people reaching out looking for help more than drop-offs. We received inquiries for more help. And um we were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, this is, you know, this is this is we were just trying to, you know, help a few families, and and the need was there. It was so great during the the pandemic years. So we reached out to my dad, he was out there as well, and Dorian from the city of Key West, he lives right around the corner, right in front of the park. So he came out and he was like, Well, let me call the fire chief and the the chief of police and see if they have any extra toys or if there's anything that they can do to help coordinate. And they did, and they really came through. And the first year I want to say, with private donors, private donors went crazy, and I can't if I talk about it too much, I'll start to cry because I'm an emotional gangster, Joy. But you know, um, they really came through, and I want to say the first year we helped five or six families, which was really good. And with uh Metropolitan Community Church, they donated food, so we had turkeys, the elks gave uh turkeys and canned goods, and we were able to distribute these to local families. And one thing I'll point out to people who who have a certain picture of the families in need in mind, get that picture of who is in need out of your mind because these are working class families that were suffering. So then the next year, of course, we start to transition out of the COVID era and the COVID period, and the need is still there. You know, the next year, 2021, more families reach out, and it's still working class conks, people that you see in the growth working at the grocery store, working in your doctor's offices, you know, working at your local hospital, working at the aqueduct or the city electric, these are working families that are still in need. And um, so at your local hospitality and hotels, big industry, you know. So to live in Key West is one thing, but to be able to thrive and to go above, or to be able to provide outside of basic needs for working families can be a whole different situation. So as we continue to 2021, again, private donors, we don't have a 401c3 registry, we're just two little elves. Well, not so little, but two elves, you know, trying to to help as much as we can. And then so from there, it just it really snowballed, and it became Christmas after Christmas, and more and more families. And I think one of the most humbling things about it for me, Joy, and I think for Roma, I can speak for Roma as well when I say this is that if you knew who the families were outside of who we are, it's humbling to know that they trust us to help them with complete confidence. Because it takes a lot for people to ask for help, believe it or not, especially in Key West, where it's you have so many different extremes, but we all always meet in the middle. You know, it's kind of hard for working class families who people may have this um vision of what they should be able to provide for their families to ask for help. So the fact that these families come to us in confidence, you know, and confidentiality and know that we're willing to help with an open heart is really humbling. It became Halloween costumes. Hey, do you know anybody that has an extra Halloween costume? It became one year, the year my daughter was on the homecoming court, my youngest daughter was on the homecoming court. A young lady had waited to the last minute, she couldn't find a homecoming dress. Her parents weren't in a place to, you know, overnight an extra hundred dollars to have a dress sent here, right? Because everything that comes across that bridge is exorbitant. So I was in a good place that year, you know. I didn't have a choice with little Dietra anyway, and I still have dresses in here from homecoming, but that's a whole nother situation.
SPEAKER_00:And I I have that on my list of things to talk about is key West Homecoming. And the tradition and the long list of ladies that she's now part of, but so sh I said, you know, come over.
SPEAKER_03:And Didi says, Mom, I have dresses, you know, and um that I'm not gonna wear. So, and she she she wore one of she was able to wear one of the dresses that Didi elected not to wear, and she looked gorgeous. And I just think that the Lord does things, everything for a purpose, right? Like the dress didn't fit Didi the way it was supposed to, but it fit her perfectly. So I say all that to say, and sometimes Joy redirect me because I become like a dang my my attention span becomes I have to you have to catch me because I get like squirrel, you know. I I lose it's easy for me to lose my focus when I start because this I'm so passionate about this. No, I feel that.
SPEAKER_00:I feel that you talking about you were gonna cry, you're about to make me cry, and all you're spilling is goodness, so keep on.
SPEAKER_03:It's it's you know, I I've been a family in need, you know. People look at me and they say, Oh, your paint, your dad is so and so, your mom did so and so, but I'm not my parents' responsibility at this ripe old age. Now, don't get me wrong, I have no problem asking them for help, and they will tell you that. But, you know, there comes a point where you do stand on your own two feet and you you're in a place where you're in need. Things come up. Four kids in the city of Key West, and I'm married, you know, and there's still, and I I I'll say I have a good job. My husband has a good job, but there's times where you know we're scraping our teeth, and that's a fact. That's a fact, you know. Um it's not fancy, it's just living. And I think that that's what helping hands of the Florida Keys wants to do. We want to be able to see working families in the city of Key West and the Florida Keys not have to put something off because, you know, especially, you know, their kids. And I'm not just talking in elementary school and middle school, I'm talking high school students too. With this last one, especially, you know, you've I've seen so many opportunities that I couldn't imagine if I didn't have the tribe around me that she would have missed out on, you know? And what if somebody doesn't have that tribe or does have it, but still just needs that extra push, you know? What opportunities can they miss? The extra set of cleats for baseball, the extra baseball bag, uh, some, you know,$50 cash in their hand for the 500 trips that they take with the sports team every year. And I know the coaches and the staff at Key West High School, God bless them, amazing. They graduated four doors. We're like the Weasley family of Key West, you know, another door, you know. But they they've Monroe County School Department has seen their last door, prayerfully, you know, and uh so but they I know they work hard to make sure that the needs are met, but there's always people that don't ask for help because they are ashamed or and we want to remove that stigma, I think, with with with our one of the big things that we want to do is remove that stigma with helping hands and trust that you know we're doing it in confidence and we'll talk, Roma and Eric and I will talk amongst ourselves, but it's not gonna go past there. Even with our donors, you know, and our donors are have been such blessings. They don't ask who, they don't ask what, they don't ask why. You tell them that there's someone in need and they're willing to fill that void, and they they trust us to know that we're not just out here being frivolous, which is another trust.
SPEAKER_00:No, absolutely. And so, what took it from being this grassroots movement where you met at the park and it you shared like a typical Key West story, right? You're out there at the park, and then Dorian, who works at the city, lives across the street, and he's got the fire chief's number, so he calls him, you know, and that village that happens that Key West is so well known for, it gives gives me the chills. But what what happens that makes you decide to go ahead and make it official and register and you know the growth over the last couple of years to where you are uh recently with the big announcement online?
SPEAKER_03:Because uh we honestly we've seen the checks that a lot of nonprofits have been receiving, and we've seen the need that is being unmet. So if we can get some of that money and funnel it towards that definitive need that we see that we get phone calls for outside of being a nonprofit, and that we feel outside of being a nonprofit, imagine what we can do if we can get that money and funnel it back into our Key West community, into our homes, into our families. Imagine the children, the young people that don't have to miss out on opportunities. Imagine the moms that don't have to work an extra 10 hours this week to and miss out on their child's school play because they have to, you know, pay their electric bill that's higher in the summertime, and their kid has the opportunity to go to drive toward Tugas camp. Imagine being able to take that and meet that need that seems to be missed a lot, a lot. So yeah, that that was like after doing it, okay, 2020, 21, 22, 20, and Roma's like, you know what? Oh gosh, and Roma, I can't again squirrel, but I can't talk enough about Roma. She's a dog, and I don't mean that in the negative way. I mean she is a dog. When she sinks her teeth in, she is going to do it until it gets done. She is phenomenal.
SPEAKER_00:And and you know, it takes that because there are many nonprofits on this beautiful island, lots of people doing big things, but it's not easy to do. You've got to go out there and you've got to grind, and you've got to be able to ask for money and keep coming back and take no for an answer. And you you need those people, you need the workers to help you, you know, collect, and then you need those that can go and um, I believe she was on the radio recently.
SPEAKER_03:Plus, yes.
SPEAKER_00:And uh you mentioned Erica also. Is there other people involved?
SPEAKER_03:Is it three of it's primarily the three of us me, Erica, and Roma? And uh, you know, Erica does the background, she's really like our third person, she's our checks to our balances, and she's she's she's our real it in guys type person.
SPEAKER_00:So, what are some of the um gaps that you fill? You mentioned money, you mentioned dresses. So, what what what do you take in? What are the gaps that you're seeing? And is there anything that you can't do, or what do you what do you focus on offering families?
SPEAKER_03:At Christmas time, right now our main focus is as as it started out with our grassroots, like you pointed out, um, has been Christmas time. And one of the biggest gaps at Christmas time that we see is our teens. Teenagers in the keys, they laugh there it goes again. I said, This interview is not gonna make me cry the whole time. Last year we had a 16-year-old reach out to us via Facebook. She sent a list for her siblings and didn't ask for anything for herself. So we came out of pocket, but we reached out to our donors and some of them came through as well, and we were able to help that family of three, including the teenager, you know, with gift cards and let her pick up because you know, teen they're very funny about what they wear. Trust me, I know. But we were able to provide for the 16-year-old who was asking for her siblings as well.
SPEAKER_00:That's powerful, yeah. And so you mentioned you mentioned Christmas. We're here in November, the holiday season is upon us. Hopefully, those holidays inspire a generous spirit in us. So if there's someone out there that's listening that has the opportunity to donate, how do they get in touch and how how do they reach you to make make a donation?
SPEAKER_03:They can reach us through our website, which is helping hands of the floridaceys.com. They can go on our Facebook page, helping hands of the Florida Keys. They can go to our email, which our email is Otavia's A T A Via's and Victor, I A S Helping Hands with an S at gmail.com.
SPEAKER_00:And I'll put those on the screen too. I'll get them from you and make sure that we have them on the screen so that people people can see. So there's several ways that people can reach out and help.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely. No, no, just know me around town, just stop me, and you know, and now we're registered, so now you can get your your slip back saying you donated to this nonprofit, and it's and you can file that with your taxes as well, too. And the fact that the past years, Troy, people have been willing to do it without that has yeah, just fueled us.
SPEAKER_00:And uh perfect timing for you guys to go official, not only with the holiday season, but tax season coming up, right? The end of 2025. So those those generous donors have you know one more deduction off that tax return, go ahead and and reach out and and make something happen. You know, one of the one of the the strongest things someone can do is ask for help. But as you said, so hard to do, and we really need to change that narrative. It sounds like that's one of the missions of your program. If there is a family out there that needs help, that's that's listening to this, do they use those same connections to reach out?
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely, absolutely, by all means, uh please do. Like I said, we we do a little quick questionnaire, it's just a basic questionnaire because we have to report back to the to the government, you know, and um so it's just it's very simple. Where's the need? How can we help? And if we can. And because we're just starting off, you know, I know that there's a lot of there may be a lot of big needs. I don't we don't want to turn anyone away. But right now we're just we don't have much, so every every little bit helps.
SPEAKER_00:You don't have you don't have much yet.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, yet, yes, right?
SPEAKER_00:But from our our mouth to God's ears and all our friends out there, right?
SPEAKER_03:All in between. Amen.
SPEAKER_00:That's that's that's fill it up, and just as the holidays offer such a generous and loving spirit, it's a great time for celebration. It also brings a lot of stress to families who who are, like you said, working families, two-income families that have some gaps. And I think about Thanksgiving coming up a couple of weeks away and being able to put a meal on the table, and then thinking, you know, three weeks later, needing to wrap a gift for for our kids. No, no, no child and no family in Key West should go without. We can't, we might be able to not reach all the way across the country, right? But but let that let's take care of of Key West and the Keys, and there's so many opportunities to help. And this helping hands of the Florida Keys is official on the books, ready to make it happen. So thank you.
SPEAKER_03:Thank you, thank you, Joy, for letting us get that out there.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely, I'm I'm happy to do it, and you know that's the other thing, too. Not everyone has an opportunity to give, but we can spread the word.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, spread the word and help. Listen, we take help too because Roma's uh fiance, Brett, and my husband, Dor, they're sick of being asked to put bicycles together, you know, two and three the night before Christmas and and helping to set this up and lift these boxes. We take help in all forms. So if you have an extra set of hands, you know, again, that's that's that's the mission, helping hands where you know, put your strengths together and work together.
SPEAKER_00:I love that. I've done about three episodes now on this new show called The Conks, and without any intention, one of the common threads is community service. Absolutely, you know, talk about conch pride. Michelle Cohen was on the show a couple of weeks ago, and one of the things that her and Ralph Major did a great job, the rest of the board over there at the Junior Football League was community outreach, and they started engaging the baseball team and the basketball team, and not only students, but adults in the community as well to come out and and give up their time. Because once you do it once and you see what an uplifting feeling you get when you serve someone else, it it becomes contagious. And those young people that that start to help out at an early age, like you mentioned, your daughter giving giving address to her friend, right? That's something that it gets inside of you. I encourage anybody out there listening. If you haven't extended yourself for someone else yet, it's time.
SPEAKER_03:It is, it is the time, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:I I also mentioned in the intro that you had deep roots on this island, many of which are community leaders, right? Your family is full of community leaders from the church to the classroom to city hall. So let's let's shift gears and and talk about your conk family, if we may.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, absolutely. Both uh my mother and my father, I don't I don't have a choice but to be the way that I am, really. I um I'm blessed to have two of the most selfless parents that I can even imagine. And I've watched them work selflessly, both of them, without any want or desire for any recognition. You know what I mean? And it's the little things that that I've that I've witnessed both of them do that you know that they'll never speak of. And one one woman that I know you know well, my grandma Rose was very much like that. She she was that woman, she never looked for anything back. My grandma went to her grave, God bless her, knowing so much that she never spoke of, so much that she never, you know, that she carried and she did it gladly. She received a lot of, you know, and gave of herself, like but like without it was very humbling to I use that word a lot, but it was it was that that's how I was raised, you know, with that humility to do selflessly. But grandma Rose is the one that taught me when you pray, you know, you go into the closet and pray. You take that between you and God, you know, you don't do it for the world to see what you're doing, just like your good works. That's between you and that person and God. That's that let your your works be through through you, you know, not through everything. You don't taking a picture as you're handing somebody a sandwich, you know? So that that's how I was was really raised.
SPEAKER_00:And yeah, I don't have a choice but to be the way that I that that I actually had this question on here to ask you. Did you learn simply by example, which is how you're answering the question now, or did did at some point they sit you down and say, Look, this is what this family does, you know. But but oh that's both.
SPEAKER_03:A little bit of both, you know. Um I was always raised, again, both sides of my family, that I'm a reflection of my family, and that's one thing I've tried to instill in my kids that when you walk out this door, my husband, he he has a good I love the way he says this. He tells my kids that he's loaning them his last name. That's my last name. I'm loaning it to you. So when you take it past these doors, you treat it with respect, you know? So I love that, but yeah, you know, you carry your on your bloodline years of respect and and selfless giving and self-worth. Yeah. So did they sit me down and tell me, yeah, yeah, there was times where they have to reel me in. There's times today where they still have to reel me in a little bit. All right, Tavy, you may be doing a little money now, you know. But um uh, no, they they it was and it was talked about in the family, you know, like you saw them like in church. What can we do? What are we doing, you know? And and then there was the the the private moments that maybe you weren't supposed to see, but you got a glimpse of or an ear of, and you saw them always working. So yeah, it was it, it's just it's very much a part of who I am.
SPEAKER_00:You talk about a name and a legacy. Recently, Key West opened the lofts at Bahama Village. Yes, and your father, Clayton Lopez, was an integral part of bringing that to fruition. How cool is that to be able to see that project come to pass because something like that takes years and years. You also have there's also another housing complex, Roosevelt Sands, that's your family. Talk about a name and a legacy when your family's name is on buildings. That that's a legacy and a responsibility, right? No pressure, but no pressure.
SPEAKER_03:In fact, I'm gonna I'm gonna clip this part of the this interview and send it to my kids because I always tell them that you know there is a legacy within your family that you have to respect. No pressure, no weight, but yeah, a lot of pressure and a lot of weight to to do, you know, to to continue. I don't my dad and my grand, my great-grandfather, Roosevelt Sands Sr. and my uncle Junior, Roosevelt Sands Jr. always used to talk about being a man amongst giants. And that's that's that's where I feel like I am. I'm just I'm a woman amongst giants, trying to live up to this this legacy that they've they've left for me in my own way, you know, in my own way. So, but yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I think they're proud.
SPEAKER_03:I hope so. I hope so.
SPEAKER_00:That's good stuff, and besides a family of givers and leaders, very talented family.
SPEAKER_03:Not it's top tier. It's here. I I I sing, I play nothing, I I I have no voice.
SPEAKER_00:I couldn't sing, but it's a dad, your aunt, your uncle, your cousin Kofi button.
SPEAKER_03:Oh yeah. Oh you can't sing I cannot hold a note in a brown paper bag. In fact, when they get together, they have me sing this uh one one song, and it used to just tickle my grandma rose to death. Uh so they they make me sing it as a joke. And I won't I will not burden the the the watchers of this interview with with doing that.
SPEAKER_00:They don't even let you play the tambourine cuts. No. You just take pictures for them.
SPEAKER_03:I take I say I'm the dancer. I'm the backup dancer.
SPEAKER_00:Somebody's got to be hype in the crowd.
SPEAKER_03:Somebody's got to be the hype, man. That's me. That's me.
SPEAKER_00:Man. So, you know, this is also one of the first shows that I've done where sports isn't the centerpiece of the conversation. But that doesn't mean we're not going to talk about it because you know I'm a big baseball fan. That's my passion. Roosevelt Sands, I I want to say that must be a great-granduncle, okay, grandfather, was one of the greatest players in Key West baseball history. He was a catcher with Key West Coconuts and other baseball teams that played on this island in the late 1800s, early 1900s, uh, played against uh each other, the Cubans, the military, whoever came to play baseball, he was he was a huge, I should be letting you talk, but I get wound up when um I'm alone.
SPEAKER_03:By all means, by all means, Joy.
SPEAKER_00:He was uh the story as I know it is that he was asked to go with the Negro Leagues and travel the country, but he decided to stay home and start his family. Is that a true story? And is there any other stories you could share?
SPEAKER_03:That's very much a true story from what has been told to me and what I've heard, you know, is that he he stayed here and uh grew his roots in the community and elected to uh you know marry his lovely wife, my great-grandma Mina. Um, I'm I've been very blessed, Joy. I've had the privilege of knowing one, two, three, four, four of my great-grandparents, and actually to the point having conversations and talking to them. And I remember my after my grandma Mina passed away, Pop, Roosevelt Sands Sr. would always he his house was right around the corner on Amelia Street from my grandmother's house, Grandma Rose's house on Whitehead Street. So every day she would cook dinner and she would have you know him come over, he would bring his own little bird peppers that he picked off the tree to to accompany his dinner because he said they they helped you live longer and they kept out, and it did, it did. He was well, well, well into his 90s.
SPEAKER_00:Um we should all have a bird pepper tree then, huh?
SPEAKER_03:Um, and uh he used to sit in the den area after he ate his dinner, and grandma would get his dessert and he would watch baseball. I never I'm gonna be honest, I'm I'm not a huge baseball fan. I'm a football fan. My my oldest son played conch football, he was phenomenal, but um he used to I we would hear him and he would say, Great googly mogly. That's when you knew it was a really good play going on. He would Great Googly Mugly, did you see what that man just did? So yeah, and my my little brother Robbie, he uh he had the privilege of knowing Pop and Uncle Junior, and he used to call him the man with the boomin' voice. He pop wasn't a big man, he wasn't big in stature, but he filled every room he walked into.
SPEAKER_00:So speaking of powerful and voices, Mr. Roosevelt sands that many of Conks my age and and older know from from Key West High School was the the greatest speaker I ever heard talk about an order. I believe that you have that talent. That's not I don't show like wow, that that's a lot. It's time time to bring that out. I've heard you speak eloquently on more than one occasion, and I I know you're you're a strong voice for for those in need, but I I I always believe that that that's coming to you if it hasn't already. You feel that?
SPEAKER_03:I just felt that for real right now. I've been been blessed to have spoken to my with my church family at MCC. I love being there. Started with Steve Torrance asking me and inviting me to speak multiple times as a guest speaker, and then now more recently, Miss Joan Higgs has asked me to to speak. And when I get the opportunity to speak, I just it's a different process. And I don't know if it's the right way. I don't know, I don't know what the right way or the wrong way is, but I always just try to connect with my journey and where I'm at, you know? And that's something that I think I learned from those great orators that you spoke of, you know, Pop and my Uncle Junior, and even being considered anywhere near my uncle Junior, that that that's a lot. That's a that's a lot. Because if anyone ever heard him do I have a dream, and recently someone sent us a video, and I thought I saved it on my phone, but I got a new phone. But it was my uncle Junior at Zion Church and my grandmother accompanying him on the piano as he did I Have a Dream, and I believe it's on YouTube. If anybody ever finds it, it is worth the repeat.
SPEAKER_00:I would love to find that. I wish I could show it and add it to this um episode somehow because you we're talking about him, and like I could feel him coming from the back of the room, everybody sitting down facing this way, and he comes from the back of the room, the auditorium of Kiwis High or the church and um yeah, just just uh talk about raise the room and everybody's spirit to another level. That was a blessing for for those of us that had had the opportunity to hear him speak. And um I I was actually tuned in recently at MCC Church, and you were speaking, and I was tuned in to the live, and that came into my mind that that's the next generation up there speaking. So no pressure, cuz but I just mean it with with with love, at least to share that I had that that moment where I thought about him and you when you were delivering your words.
SPEAKER_03:So, well, you know, taking me out of the conversation, my uh I actually thought about my Uncle Junior when my daughter, my youngest daughter, gave her homecoming speech. That I sat there because she didn't want to read it for me the night before. She didn't want me to hear her. She didn't, she literally cried when I said, Deitra, please read it for me, let me hear it. And she was like, No, no, no, no, I don't want you to. So sitting there that when she gave her speech that day, that I think that was uh third Thursday, Thursday, and I I boo-hoo cried. I wasn't ready. And my mind went to my uncle Junior. And I mean, again, removing me from the conversation, I thought I saw my dad, I saw my uncle Junior, I saw my my grandmother, my mother's mother, who graduated from Douglas High School valedictorian, and she would quote, I mean, up until 9092, she was still quoting and remembering poems and at last came one of the very truth, the gayest rally of all the group.
SPEAKER_01:He stood beside her and whispered, Lo, I'll help you across if you wish to go. So she lay her hand on his strong young arms and face, and so without curse or harm, she guides her trembling earrose, proud that his own was firm and strong. Then back again to his friends he wears. His young heart, happy, and well content. She's somebody's mother, boy, you know. She's old and strong and her own and somebody's mother out low her head in her home that night. And the Christ she said was God be kind to that noble boy who is somebody's son with pride and joy.
SPEAKER_03:And when I heard that of my daughter, I said, holy moly, I said, Wow. She did it, she's it. She did it, and and my youngest daughter, now my boys are different, but that's a story for another day. But my oldest daughter, you know, she she also she gave the keynote address at when she graduated with her associate from now what's now College of the Florida Keys. And that that had me in tears too. You know, she spoke of growing up in Haiti and the opportunities. So moving. I don't know. Anyway, I'm blessed. I'm blessed. And it just made me feel like, hey, maybe I, you know, maybe I was able to pass something on to them to them. Maybe they did pay attention a little bit.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, just yeah, just like you, just like you paying attention, right? Now, this next generation, and and that was one of the things I had on here to talk about. We mentioned already your daughter being part of the homecoming queen tradition. QSI recently celebrated 75 years of the homecoming celebration and invited all 75 years of homecoming queens, whoever could, to come back. What is it for you to see your daughter on a list, a long list of great Key West women, and to know that she's already making her place and and your your kids here, you've got four raising four up. What are some of the traditions that you hope that they'll take from you and keep going and pass on to other generations?
SPEAKER_03:Pray every night that my kids know I'm here to support them to be that much better than me. I had uh some wonderful, my parents have been amazing, and I stand on their shoulders, they stood on their parents' shoulders, and now I gladly, you know, have my kids stand on me and my husband's shoulders. I, you know, I have uh four kids, I have four high school diplomas, all four diplomas are honorary honors diplomas. Um, I have my youngest son, Mr. TJ. He is on the spectrum, but he's in college. He's gonna get his regular associate's degree. He graduated with his regular high school diploma. You know, I have my oldest son who is taking his time, but he promised me he's gonna get that degree. You know, my oldest daughter, when we talk about homecoming, I have to, you know, my girls, I say they're different, but you know, I brag a little bit on my oldest daughter because she was the first Haitian-born conquette at Key West High School. She was also one of the first Haitian-borns, if I if I got this correctly, to be nominated for the top 20. She didn't make it to court, but she was nominated for to the top 20. Then, you know, along comes her little sister, and I I tell Chris all the time, you you opened the doors, you know. We can't take anything from you. You stood in the paint so that she can, you know, do what she did, you know.
SPEAKER_00:As big sisters often have to do, right? Often do, you know. I know my I had two big sis, I have two big sisters that, you know, clear the path for me. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Yeah. All the time. She called, they were on the phone with me last night, and she's she tells Dietra, Dietra, you know I raised you. And I said, All right, Crystal, you pushing it, but you you definitely you opened some doors, but yeah, no, no, you pushing it a little bit now.
SPEAKER_00:Man, that's that's really good.
SPEAKER_03:But Didi comes from a long, long, you know, homecoming tradition. Her grandmother was on the homecoming court. We've had my mom was on the homecoming court, my cousin Linda, my cousin Paulette Revis, you know, her cousin Jaquilla was a queen. Jeez, who else? Pam, her our cousin Pam Raming was the first black homecoming queen at P West High School. So, you know, it is, it's been a and I never really thought of it that way, honestly. Going into it, I never I was like, okay, she she probably won't get the nomination. And she was like, Mom, I got it. And then I'm sitting there on the field on the bench, and I remember looking at her and thinking, now, how am I gonna break it to her that it's okay she didn't win? And then it's always that, right? Just in case. And then they called her name, and I think I went into absolute shock, like literal shock. Missy Vett Talbot came over to me and she was like, Are you okay? And I'm like, I couldn't speak. I remember not being able to speak, and there's this amazing video of my husband jumping up and punching the air four times in a row, you know.
SPEAKER_00:Because he's out there on the field having escort in the run.
SPEAKER_03:Ear to ear like the Cheshire cat, you know. And it was, it's, and I just remember thinking it's a little bit different from her because Dee Dee wasn't your stereotypical queen, she wasn't the size six, she wasn't the one that was, you know, the uh the class president or the president of this or that. She was always the supporter, you know, she was always there supporting and rallying. And so I just felt like it was a little different for her. But I can go on forever about that spot of it.
SPEAKER_00:Hey, yeah, no, I love it. And and and cheers to her for putting the uh supporting cast in the in the spotlight. You know, you already talked about Ms. Rose, and I held the tears back, but I'm gonna I I'm gonna talk about it too because and you you know I love her, but um, just anybody out there that's watching, anybody that went to Glenn Archer school um knows Ms. Rose Lopez from the computer lab way back in the day. This is who we speak, in case you were wondering. But I was I was early in my career, the late 80s, started working for the school district, and Ms. Rose was already had many years working in the computer lab and managing that lab. And you know, she she helped me so many times. It turned out that that Mr. Donnie Williams he retired unexpectedly, and I I was just like, what am I supposed to do? I was just supposed to be a teacher aide, right? And how many times did I call your grandmother and say, hey, can I come over and sit in the lab and spend a couple hours and just watch you? And I had a bunch of questions about the computers and the reports and everything else. And Miss Rose always reminded me, we're not here for the computers, we're here for the kids. Wow. If you if you worry too much about the computers, you're gonna miss what we're doing, is for the kids. And I promise you, cuz I never forgot that I retired with 35 years and I always held that that close to me. And um talk about somebody being named appropriately. Miss Rose was just just beautiful with a smile that when when when she smiled, her eyes would twinkle, you know. You could hear that little ding, right? You know, it was just her whole face smile, and um I miss her hugs, man. I could use one right now. And uh the thing about her hug, man, was that when she hugged you, you know, I don't know why this is happening, but I'm going with it because go. Yep. Maybe because I need a hug today, but uh when she hugged you long after she let go, she was still holding. You know what I mean? When you get a good one, it's something special. And and obviously it's been a real long time since I got one of those hugs, but I remember them fondly. And um and uh yeah, I just love I I love her, I love your daddy. I'm proud of what he did for Key West. And you know, you and I haven't had as many opportunities to connect, but I see you, and I'm so happy that I've been able to get you on the podcast and shine a little light, and now we connected.
SPEAKER_03:Amen.
SPEAKER_00:Now we got each other's number, and you know, we we got our own thread that that we've made that we've made today, you know, not just Q as sisters, but through your family, and and now we have we have our own connection.
SPEAKER_03:My text coming to you at all hours of the night because once you open the door, I I come right in. Once you open the door, I'm in. You can't put me out.
SPEAKER_00:You you heard it here first. I'm fully committed. So we're gonna go ahead and wrap up this episode with uh two two big questions. Complete this sentence.
SPEAKER_03:I'm proud to be a conk because it's tradition, it's loyalty, and it's dedication to community above self.
SPEAKER_00:That's good stuff, and finally, what brings you joy? Family.
SPEAKER_03:And family isn't just who you're birthed into, it's who you surround yourself with. You're my family, Joy. So you bring me joy, and you brought me joy with this opportunity. So thank you.
SPEAKER_00:Right, right back at you. Thank you so much for being on the show, everything you do for Key West, and uh I'll see you out there.
SPEAKER_03:You will, you will, about to hit the ground running. Go conks. Go conks.
SPEAKER_00:This episode is sponsored by Ramonis, promoting Conk Pride since 1971. I'm Joy Newlish, and I appreciate you tuning into my podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, drop a review, share, and subscribe because there's a lot of good stuff on tap. You can find more joyful content on YouTube, the socials, or check my website at joynoolish.com. Now go surround yourself with the things that bring joy to your world. Until next time, much love.
